Skip to content
Search
Subscribe to our newsletter
Cuisine Noir logo
Donate
Donate
Donate Monthly
Donate Monthly
  • Food & Drink
  • Climate + Food
  • Travel
  • Lifestyle
  • Cooking
  • Culture
  • News
    • Food News
    • Drink News
    • Travel News
  • Recipes
Cuisine Noir logo
  • Food & Drink
  • Climate + Food
  • Travel
  • Lifestyle
  • Cooking
  • Culture
  • News
    • Food News
    • Drink News
    • Travel News
  • Recipes
Donate
Donate
Donate Monthly
Donate Monthly
  • Food & Drink
  • Climate + Food
  • Travel
  • Lifestyle
  • Cooking
  • Culture
  • News
    • Food News
    • Drink News
    • Travel News
  • Recipes
Cuisine Noir logo
  • Food & Drink
  • Climate + Food
  • Travel
  • Lifestyle
  • Cooking
  • Culture
  • News
    • Food News
    • Drink News
    • Travel News
  • Recipes
Donate
Donate
Donate Monthly
Donate Monthly
Lifestyle

Etiquette For Dining with Others

By Tina Hayes
/
February 1, 2011
       
Dining out others | Photo credit: Picha
Photo credit: PICHA
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

You are dining out with friends and having a great time.  The meal is delicious, the conversation interesting and the atmosphere lively.  Later, the bill arrives and awkwardness accompanies it.  Someone has to take charge and oversee the payment.  It’s too late to ask for separate checks.  Now what?  Do you split the bill equally, ask everyone to pay an approximate amount for what they ordered, or pull out the phone calculator and have everyone pay the exact amount?

My advice: Agree upon how the bill will be handled before anyone orders.

Below I will discuss the three most utilized options for bill handling when dining with others.

Split the Bill Evenly

When using this option, the bill is split evenly between all diners (Two couples – total cost $150, each couple pays $75). The advantages are that bill division is quick and easy to calculate.  The use of this method is preferred when people do not want to hassle over cost or when several dishes, appetizers and beverages (bottled wine) are shared.  The main disadvantages are that individuals do not pay the exact cost for their meal and the bill is usually higher than if paid individually.  People tend to use less caution when making selections and often order more expensive items.  The result is everyone ends up paying more.   If you are on a tight budget and watching your expenses, this is not a favorable solution for you.

Request Separate Checks

This is the fairest, most efficient and most accurate method.  Diners pay only for what they order. No one feels cheated, taken advantage of or under obligation to bear others’ burdens.

So why is this method not used exclusively?

  1. Some restaurants, mainly upscale establishments, do not allow tables to have separate checks.
  2. Shared items such as bottled wine and appetizers cannot easily be separated on individual bills.  Also consider the scenario when you order a starter and everyone else indulges.  Will you be okay or feel imposed upon?
  3. This is not a favorable option for congratulatory meals, such as birthdays, when the guest of honor’s meal is paid for by the entire group.  The honored guest should not be made to feel uncomfortable when much discussion is centered on the division of their tab.
Pay For What You Ordered

Paying for what you ordered is a common method used by many people dining in groups.  The diners pay an approximate amount for their meal and beverage, including tip and tax (25-28).  When using this method, someone must “step up to the plate” and oversee the process.  Also, keep in mind that the time spent during collection can be cumbersome.  If honesty is demonstrated, the main advantage of this system is that the disparity between the actual amounts owed and paid is minimal.

Have you ever been faced with a situation where no one makes a move for the bill?  You can begin the process by reviewing and fairly paying your portion, then pass the bill to another person stating, “This should cover my share.”

RELATED: Starting with the Basics of Dining Etiquette

I cannot say that any method is best and that fairness is going to play out when dividing the bill.  Throughout your dining experiences, all forms of bill division will probably be used.  Using one method or another is dependent on the different variables of the dining experience.  While there is no way to escape those occasions where you have to pay more than your share, I hope this article has clarified the reasoning behind certain bill-dividing situations. I am very interested in hearing from our readers about your take on this subject.

P.S.  If you invite someone out to eat, that means that you can plan on being responsible for the bill.

Trending Stories

  • Keep ham from drying out - Honey-glazed ham
    CookingHow to Keep Ham From Drying Out
  • Collard greens in a bowl
    CookingThe Secrets of Cooking Collard Greens Without Meat
  • Omowale Enoch, founder of MOE's Delicacies in Canada
    Food & Drink, West African CuisineByBlacks Restaurant Week Returns With More Restaurants in Canada Showcasing Cultural Diversity
  • Homesteading - Farmer or homesteader hands carrying food
    Climate + FoodCultivating Freedom Through Homesteading: Tips to Get Started and Reconnected

Subscribe

Subscribe to The Weekly Dish and get the week’s top food stories delivered to our inbox each Thursday.


    Diaspora Food Stories Podcast

    Listen to global chefs, winemakers, farmers and more tell their stories in their own words.
    Listen to the Podcast

    Support Award-Winning Journalism

    Help Cuisine Noir deliver stories that honor Black food history, culture and traditions.

    Donate
    Donate on Paypal

    Related Articles

    Loading...
    Little girl going on Halloween for trick or treat
    Lifestyle

    Halloween Etiquette

    Fan sportsmanship
    Lifestyle

    Etiquette for Fan Sportsmanship

    Family gathering for a reunion or cookout
    Lifestyle

    6 Family Reunion Etiquette Tips for Spending Quality Time with Relatives

    Cuisine Noir is an award-winning lifestyle media outlet dedicated to providing culturally-rich and factually reported stories that connect the African diaspora through food, drink and travel and celebrate Black food cultures.

    Facebook Instagram Pinterest Youtube

    About

    Our History
    Our Team
    Content Integrity
    Advertise with Us
    Photography Use
    Affiliate Links
    Donate to Our Work
    Privacy

    Subscribe

    Subscribe to The Weekly Dish to have award-winning food journalism delivered to your inbox each Thursday.


      Copyright© 2025 Cuisine Noir and The Global Food and Drink Initiative.
      Site by ACS Digital